Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Women's Lib: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

As one of my co-worker friends and I pondered how much we hated our jobs the other day, we wondered, WHY? Why did we think it was going to be such a great idea to get all liberated and stuff? Do you realize that most of my generation really only gave themselves more work to do?

Now, don't get me wrong. Yay woman's lib, and being able to make choices, and do what we want, and vote. Not sure how that's really helped us out, in the long run. But seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to have to work all day, go to the grocery store, pick the kids up from daycare, cook supper, clean up supper, clean up after the kids and then have the energy to make your husband "happy" before bed? Huh? Who thought that was a good idea?

Some of you may think I'm being a little over dramatic. But you are probably the ones who have really great hubbies who help cook dinner (besides hamburgers), and will help wash the dishes, and put the kids to bed, and help you clean up the toys. And then gives you a full-body message to help you relax and make you "happy".

But, in reality, what woman's lib did was just pile a 9-5 job on top of everything else we have to do. I know, because my Neanderthal of a husband point blank told me just last winter that it was his duty to take care of the outdoor chores, and my duty to take care of the "indoor" chores.

That's right ladies. My DUTY was to clean up after his lazy butt, cooking and cleaning and making him "happy"! And then what does he do? He DITCHES me mid winter to go gallivanting around the country by taking on an over-the-road driving job. So, now who gets to shovel the snow? ME!

The only good thing was I only had to pick up after myself. And in reality, it turned out to be less work just taking care of myself AND shoveling, then cleaning up after him, while he did the shoveling. Which seriously people, is not all that often lately. Especially since he's decided we will survive walking through a walkway covered in snow and ice.

So, I have to cut this short. I just got a call from the garage to come out and work on my work bench stool. Because it's mine, and therefore I have to do it.

Don't get me wrong, I love my hubby. He's great, he gets me propane and oxygen for my torches, he makes really good meatloaf and hamburgers. But he doesn't really lift a finger in the the household department. I have learned to do plumbing, electrical, and carpentry. The first two I learned from my husband, the latter from my dad.

So, I'm off to do the manly thing...get the power tools and get the job done right by having a woman do it...ME!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Everyone is dumb, but me....

Did you ever say that to yourself? I'm guessing you have. I say it to myself all the time. Like, when I heard about the Firefox browser, at first, I said, well, I've never heard of that, must be dumb. Then I looked it up online, and downloaded it and WOW. I said to myself, I am so smart to have found Firefox, it's so FAST!! It is, seriously fast, like the stealth bomber, except it won't fall apart and crash on someone's house. And the government has nothing to do with it so it's tax free....for now.

So, today, my little anti virus icon is yellow, meaning I better find out what's going on, cuz yellow means "caution" and all. So it says I need to download updates...click here. Okay, so I click, and what happens? IE opens up (Internet Explorer). Well, again I say to myself, "Well, that's dumb that I can't make it open in Firefox but I so do not have time to mess with this dumb thing because I have a blog to write. And I already spent a hundred hours trying to figure it out before and it apparently only likes IE, so that's just dumb. I thought Bill Gates was smart so why his anti virus only works in IE is so totally dumb!

Well, I come here all irritated and everything because I hate IE, and I start typing about how dumb everything is and I get to the point where I type about my anti virus being yellow and my computer freezes up. Again...DUMB IE!! So I click on that, and after all that time nothing had happened on IE cuz it froze up all dumb and stuff. So I go get more coffee, wishing I liked brandy and whiskey cuz I'd so be adding some of that to my coffee, but I don't so I'll just have to be sober and mad.

So the dumb IE finally loads it's dumb page and I click on the update icon...again! The box pops up saying "download 1 of 1". Well, thank the good lord for that because that dumb download is putting a good 248 MB on my computer! Taking up good space I could be downloading other cool stuff onto. But no, I have to update my anti virus because of all the DUMB hackers and virus creators who have nothing better to do with their dumb lives then make our really cool and smart lives miserable.

Okay, so after all this talk about all the dumb stuff going on in my computer it still has only loaded 46 MB of it's dumb 248 MB so I might as well go shopping or something. Maybe I'll send Bill and email and tell him how dumb IE is because he just doesn't know it yet, even though he probably totally owns it but I can't look it up because the dumb download is hogging all my PF usage and totally slowing down my computer. Then maybe he'll say that I'm so smart he needs to hire me to help him spend his money making really cool websites that are way better then IE and I'll be famous and everyone with totally know how smart I am.

BTW, only 72 MB downloaded! Dumb download!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I'm BAAAACK, and I'm goin' to hell!

I so had to bring this blog back to life so I could complain about my evil nemesis. It's true, just like Superman, Batman and Mr. Incredible, I too have an evil nemesis.

She's an evil troll from where I work. Yes, that's right. I called her a troll, and although some may say I could go to hell for being so mean, I have to say I am already in HELL!!

So, previously, I had complained (not on this blog) of her staring at my back all day long. So after making a few comments on that habit of hers, I finally had to yell at her. And it all went downhill from there.

I recently have decided that she is a she-devil and her sole purpose in life to to make my life pure hell.

So, generally I am a very happy person, I love to laugh. And yes, as proven by this blog, I love to gripe about people who make me mad. We all do. And so does SHE! However, her negativity is energy draining and it saps any and all happiness from your body. Basically she sucks the life essence from you like those creepy bird thingies in Dark Crystal.

So, at work, in our Dilbert cubes I like to call jail cells, I had requested a wall so that she would have difficulty turning around and staring at the back of my head. As well as tapping on the back of my chair and saying "look at this service request. don't these people know any of their own rules?" I cringe at the sound of her voice, just so you know.

Well, as you can imagine management told me to shut the hell up because I am NOBODY and I am not worth the extra $5 to put up a stinking wall. So I built my own wall. It's an imaginary wall. But it was practically impenetrable by most super hero standards.

So, anyway, the other day my new supervisor asked how it was going and I told him how it was. I wanted a wall, or to be moved, or relocated to the middle of the Sahara Desert where I could be eaten alive by sand dune creatures. But NOOOO!

So he says to me, "Can't you be nice and just get along?" So I think to myself, as I am always the optimist (NOT)...Sure, I'll give it a try. So I come to work the next day, say hi to the evil one, and make idle chit chat for at least a good 15 seconds, but not too much. And what the hell do you suppose happens? YES, that's right. All the rest of the day I get to hear, "why was this sent to us? What am I supposed to do with that. What is this service request supposed to mean. Don't they know anything. Look at this scanning, I can't ready that. This is ridiculous, that is wrong, this is wrong, I'm a bitch and I can't stop complaining!" Okay, I ad-libbed (how the Sam hell do you spell that word?) some of that, but you get the gist of it.

So, in essence, my wall of security was way too easily knocked down, violated, ransacked. Just like the Berlin Wall. Or those farmers in China who dig holes in the Great Wall because the grass is always greener on the other side.

So, I have decided it's time to take matters into my own hands. I have to do it. There's no other way. No, not a gun, geesh people! Voodoo doll!! I made it myself.

It should be totally effective in putting a hex on the old crow. Maybe it will even turn her into an old crow. But either way, tomorrow, I take my little Voodoo doll and when she turns and taps on the back of my chair tomorrow, if one evil hiss comes out of her mouth, ZAP, she's gonna get the Voodoo!

I totally believe in taking care of things logistically! I mean after all, what else can I do?