Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I'm BAAAACK, and I'm goin' to hell!

I so had to bring this blog back to life so I could complain about my evil nemesis. It's true, just like Superman, Batman and Mr. Incredible, I too have an evil nemesis.

She's an evil troll from where I work. Yes, that's right. I called her a troll, and although some may say I could go to hell for being so mean, I have to say I am already in HELL!!

So, previously, I had complained (not on this blog) of her staring at my back all day long. So after making a few comments on that habit of hers, I finally had to yell at her. And it all went downhill from there.

I recently have decided that she is a she-devil and her sole purpose in life to to make my life pure hell.

So, generally I am a very happy person, I love to laugh. And yes, as proven by this blog, I love to gripe about people who make me mad. We all do. And so does SHE! However, her negativity is energy draining and it saps any and all happiness from your body. Basically she sucks the life essence from you like those creepy bird thingies in Dark Crystal.

So, at work, in our Dilbert cubes I like to call jail cells, I had requested a wall so that she would have difficulty turning around and staring at the back of my head. As well as tapping on the back of my chair and saying "look at this service request. don't these people know any of their own rules?" I cringe at the sound of her voice, just so you know.

Well, as you can imagine management told me to shut the hell up because I am NOBODY and I am not worth the extra $5 to put up a stinking wall. So I built my own wall. It's an imaginary wall. But it was practically impenetrable by most super hero standards.

So, anyway, the other day my new supervisor asked how it was going and I told him how it was. I wanted a wall, or to be moved, or relocated to the middle of the Sahara Desert where I could be eaten alive by sand dune creatures. But NOOOO!

So he says to me, "Can't you be nice and just get along?" So I think to myself, as I am always the optimist (NOT)...Sure, I'll give it a try. So I come to work the next day, say hi to the evil one, and make idle chit chat for at least a good 15 seconds, but not too much. And what the hell do you suppose happens? YES, that's right. All the rest of the day I get to hear, "why was this sent to us? What am I supposed to do with that. What is this service request supposed to mean. Don't they know anything. Look at this scanning, I can't ready that. This is ridiculous, that is wrong, this is wrong, I'm a bitch and I can't stop complaining!" Okay, I ad-libbed (how the Sam hell do you spell that word?) some of that, but you get the gist of it.

So, in essence, my wall of security was way too easily knocked down, violated, ransacked. Just like the Berlin Wall. Or those farmers in China who dig holes in the Great Wall because the grass is always greener on the other side.

So, I have decided it's time to take matters into my own hands. I have to do it. There's no other way. No, not a gun, geesh people! Voodoo doll!! I made it myself.

It should be totally effective in putting a hex on the old crow. Maybe it will even turn her into an old crow. But either way, tomorrow, I take my little Voodoo doll and when she turns and taps on the back of my chair tomorrow, if one evil hiss comes out of her mouth, ZAP, she's gonna get the Voodoo!

I totally believe in taking care of things logistically! I mean after all, what else can I do?

1 comment:

T.Allen-Mercado said...

I'd love to hear how this all worked out for you. I'm kind of a cube life voyeur now that I'm no longer in the trenches myself!