Thursday, April 2, 2009

So, when you travel halfway across the country to get to work... encounter a gazillion and a half insane and stupid drivers!!

You may notice that a lot of my rants involve driving. That's because I have to drive clear across my state and into the next to get to a job that gives me migraines and carpal tunnel. So I come across all kinds of insane behavior.

Like this morning. A delivery truck had to honk at some idiot who cut him off, even though that idiot thought they had plenty of room. And she did it because people can't decide how fast they want to drive. I can hear them...seriously, I can. They're sitting there going, "la la la. I think I'll speed it up a bit. Oh no, now I'm in front of the vehicle next to me, I better slow down. La la la. Oops, now that vehicle is in front of me, I better speed up." All the while never giving anyone any real room to get BY!!! So YES, I CUT YOU OFF BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE TO WORK BEFORE THE SUN SETS, and I know I had room, dude.

See! Now I've become one of those annoying drivers. Which, thankfully, the Speedy Delivery guy (yes, that's the name on the truck) reminded me with his honk. Yes, I SAW YOU FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Now move!! Remember, I need to be in front.

And you know what? I really love my V6 Impala. It goes fast. Did I tell you one day I was driving down the freeway and changed lanes to pass a car that was going slower then me. And what happens? Yep, he speeds up. FINE, I'll pull back into the lane behind you! (angry face and lots of @#$%^&*!)

What? NOW YOU SLOW DOWN? God, fine, I'll pass you....hey...what the? No, you are not going to play this game with me, asshat (I toned that down a little for you faint of heart), you are not going to speed up when I do, and slow down when I do.

So I floor it and zip past him. It doesn't take long for my car to do 80. And I take my foot off the gas and let it go back to my cruising speed. HUGE smirk on my face, cuz, yeah, I passed the Cavalier full of teenagers!

What's this? The Cavalier is pulling up behind me? Changing lanes to pass me? Ah, no, because we're not playing that game! I have a 6 cylinder, you only have 4. You will NOT beat me!

So, we're traveling at about 75 now, because I thought it best I stay in front of the little people. But, no, they feel the need to creep up on me, so I figure that the car load of punk kids should be given the evil eye, so I turn my head with a huge grin on my face, that grin said, "Really? Do you want to take on a v6? Not only will I win, but your rods will shoot out of your engine block, and the smoke will be seen for miles around. And yes, I'll stop and laugh while I call you an expensive tow truck, YOU EVIL LITTLE PUNKS!"

So they backed off and slowed down, and left me alone. Don't mess with a middle aged angry woman behind a V6 engine!!!

And that is pretty much a typical adventurous day on the drive to work for me!